The Ultimate Man United Quiz

Ok guys the following is a result of the extreme feeling of boredom arising inside me just at the thought of studying integral calculus..
Now what you have to do is guess the name the person(related to Man Utd) to whom Iam refering in each Question(there may be more than 1 question for a single person)..If you're a Man U fan you can turn away right now because you might not like this..
Ok lets get started then..
Q1-An Ageing Scottish Gum Chewing Machine?
Q2-Global Ambassador For Laziness?
Q3-Lil' Wayne Imposter?
Q4-Player's Prayer-''God..The Next time someone *trips* me make sure the referee sees it.''.
Q5-The player who cries of racial abuse and gets banned consequently?
Q6-The Slimmest and fastest grandmom ever(only for the hindi speaking)?
Q7-The player who keeps having haircuts without actually growing any hair?
Q8-Going to ground..suddenly feeling a pain..crying looking at the ref..making an ugly face..more crying..RESULT-Getting Booked?
Q9-Player whose surname is good enough to amaze the National Spelling Bee Champion?(hint-goal keeper)
Q10-The player with the best composure in One on Ones?Forgot to mention against his OWN keeper?
Q11-The player who consumes more hair styling gel bottles than water?
Q12-Momma wheres my nipple??
Q13-Best Man to mark Torres?
Q14-Age no Bar, he'll always be found beneath the goalbar?
Q15-The player who plays with eyes closed(quite literally)?(Hint-press your forefingers at the ends of your eyes and try moving them towards your ears)

Ok thats all I have right now..if you know more than 10 here you're quite high on the 'I Dislike Man Utd List'..no wonder I got all 15 correct(wth! I made them!!)

P.S-This post is not meant for inducing hatred..if anyone feels offended i apologise..